I Can't Believe It's Been 10 Years

 Ten years ago today my memoir, NORTH POLE HIGH: A REBEL WITHOUT A CLAUS was published. The book tells the TRUE inside story of Santa's 16-year-old daughter (me!). And the most amazing thing is, I'm still sixteen years old!

Now, before you go assuming that not aging is simply a benefit of being a fictional character like Lisa Simpson, I can assure you, I'm real. I'm as real as my father, who has delivered over a jillion toys all over the world in the ten years since I wrote NORTH POLE HIGH: A Rebel Without a Claus.

The thing is, as I explained in my book, NORTH POLE HIGH: A REBEL WITHOUT A CLAUS, which is still available at Popular Prices everywhere, all of us living here in the North Pole ages differently than those of you living outside the Circle. It has something to do with magnets and the rate of rotation of the earth up here at the top of the world and the route we take to school that takes us across the International Date Line every day. Plus most of our food is made with Magic. It's all very complicated and scientific. Einstein explained it all once to Chefy, but he didn't bother to write it down because he has flippers for hands.

Anyway, thank you to everyone who has read NORTH POLE HIGH: A REBEL WITHOUT A CLAUS over the last ten years. And to those of you who planned to read it one day but haven't gotten around to it yet: It's been TEN YEARS! What are you waiting for? YOU'RE not getting any younger!

PS: Merry Christmas!

The Meaning of Christmas Trees (excerpt)

“Rudy, a Christmas tree by itself is just a tree.”

I set down my colored pencils and imagined the biggest, brightest tree imaginable.

“Each soul who hangs a bauble from its bough, or threads a string of lights through its needles, or tops it with a shining star, is teaching it to sing its own unique song of joy. A Christmas tree, when it’s finished and all lit up, with lots of presents cuddled underneath, reflects the magic inside each person who trimmed it.”

I waited for a scoff while his unblinking gaze confronted me, urging me to go on, to enlighten him.

“The tree that you and I create together will expose our very hearts to the world. No one else will ever be able to duplicate that.” I leaned forward, tempted to reach for his hand. “Close your eyes, Rudy. Picture it.”

He folded his arms and did as I said.

“You have to really think. See it in your mind’s eye.” I waited again, giving him space for his tree to flourish. “Now tell me, what’s in your heart. What does Christmas mean to you?”

He was quiet. I held my breath, ready for something special, something magical, to bubble out of him. Goosebumps sprouted up and down my arms.

Then he spoke. “I see our grades. They’re threatening to jump off a tall building if they depend on me buying into all this ’Tis-the-season jazz.” He opened his eyes and grinned.

I knew he’d never take this seriously.

“You’re a poo-head! I’m not talking to you anymore.” I swiveled my chair, only pretending to be angry, when my eyes landed on the picture on his dresser. I went over and picked it up for a closer look. I half-waited for him to stop me, but he didn’t. The woman’s eyes were so much like Rudy’s, I had to ask, “Is this your mother?”

“Uh huh,” he answered quietly.

“She’s very pretty.”

“She was.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Cancer. When I was ten.”

Hearing Rudy’s mother was in heaven made me appreciate never having to worry about that, since my parents would live forever. But the sadness overwhelmed me. “What kind of Christmas tree would she want to see?”

“She’s in the ground.” His words took on a terseness that made me shudder. “She’s not watching us from anywhere and there are no such things as Christmas miracles.”

I’d obviously opened a door I shouldn’t have. Not knowing how to go back and close it, I quietly stood his mother’s picture back up on his dresser. “Maybe we should take that milk-and-cookies break now,” I said.

“I was kidding about the milk and cookies.” He got up and tucked his mother’s picture into a drawer. “Maybe we should call it a night.”

“If you say so.” I went back to the desk and carefully slipped my drawings into their portfolio. “Rudy?”

“What?”

“I don’t care what you think of me, or my friends, or my family, or my town. But what exactly do you have against Christmas?”

“It’s getting late. Why don’t we save this for later.”

My heart beat faster. I should have gotten out of there. I should have run. But I couldn’t let it go. “I think you’re here—you and your father—for a reason. One that you’re not even aware of.”

“Go home, Candy.”

I almost melted when I heard him say my name, so softly, so at odds with the way he said almost everything else. “At least tell me you’re not one of those people who doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.”

“I had dinner with him. Remember?”

We both smiled. He wasn’t a heretic.

Relieved, I started packing the rest of my stuff into my backpack.

“I just happen to think your father’s ideas are ridiculous,” he added.

Our game went into pause mode.

“What ideas? Spreading joy to the world?”

“What do you know about the world?” he snapped. “You live up here in a fantasy land, and once a year, your old man flies around the globe handing out toys—‘One for you, and one for you, and one for you.’—as if an electric train set could make up for all the wars and death and misery people suffer in the real world.” He hovered over me, his words so forceful. His hot breath hit me like a right hook with every disgruntled thought he threw at me. “I have news for you, princess. The world doesn’t work that way.”

He made me scared and confused and curious all at once. “What do electric trains have to do with suffering and death?”

He didn’t answer. Whatever he’d been ranting about, clearly he hadn’t meant to direct his anger at me. For in another five seconds, he was almost certain to make a pass.

If you want to find out what happened next, you'll have to read my book, North Pole High: A Rebel Without a Claus.

Merry Christmas!

Related content: See the tree Jenna Edwards made for me, inspired by this chapter!

Sparkly Christmas Balls (Excerpt)

(get wallpaper)

The eight-and-a-half-foot-tall shaggy white bear had to stoop to attach our homework to the naked, cardboard-cutout Christmas tree that stood on a tiny easel next to his desk. Some of my classmates turned red with embarrassment as they watched their ornament join the collection, perhaps feeling their work wasn’t as good as the others. But one by one, our sparkly treasures beautified that silly facsimile until it suddenly shone as Christmassy as a real tree!

Mr. Polar Bear stepped aside and smiled with pride at his new charges as we applauded ourselves. But, as only two of us knew, one ornament was still missing.

“Class, this year there is one team I am giving an A-super-plus,” Mr. PB said.

Johnny Toboggan, Silentnight, and Sugarcookie scanned their twenty classmates, trying to figure out whose ornament had yet to be presented. By then, the rest of the class had already guessed and turned directly toward me and my gloating boyfriend, Tinsel. I sent them back a grin that I hoped conveyed modest surprise and appreciation even though I had become accustomed to standing out in class ever since kindergarten, when I could recite the names of all eight of Daddy’s reindeer backward and forward.

Tinsel, on the other hand, slapped high-fives with Elation and Cookiejar even before Mr. Polar Bear unveiled our shimmering dazzler.

I had come up with the idea to take two candy canes, natch, and join them into the shape of a heart. Then Tinsel and I added a few creative ingredients to make our shiny heart beat like a living, breathing instrument of love.

“This is the most magnificent Christmas tree ornament I have ever seen. Candycane, Tinsel, would you like to share your thoughts about your… I’m sorry, I can’t seem to think of another word for it… magnificent work with the rest of the class?”

I’d never seen a polar bear cry before that moment. I bet no one ever had. Polar bears don’t cry. But this one did. Just one little watery drop that formed in his dark brown eye. He wiped it away with the side of his paw before it could fall.

I’m not trying to brag when I say I’ve always had an easy time in school. But this whole eleventh-grade thing was beginning to look a lot like cake.

“We weren’t even thinking about a grade, Mr. Polar Bear,” I said. “Tinsel and I just thought about our love of Christmas. And then we wished upon a star. That was the most important part. And the heart just kind of shaped itself!”

The class let out a collective “Awwwww,” and I blushed while Tinsel took a few exaggerated bows. But the praise from our peers screeched to a halt as a boy who could not have been more the opposite of my talented boyfriend appeared in the doorway of our happy little classroom.

And that, my friends, was the moment Rudy Tutti first walked into my life. I hope you enjoyed this excerpt from my critically-acclaimed book, North Pole High: A Rebel Without a Claus.

Here's a fun video I found showing you how to make your own sparkly pink Christmas ornament, just like the ones we make in Mr. Polar Bear's class at North Pole High!

Ho-ho-ho!

Merry Anniversary to Me

I can't believe it. 'Twas one year ago today the elves released my debut book....

A big candy-cane hug to everyone on the Nice List who enjoyed it last year. I hope you plan to make it part of an annual Yuletide tradition.

They say Christmas is coming earlier this year, but my dad assures me it's still going to be on December 25.

However, it is true that Hanukkah is coming ridiculously early this year (like, before Thanksgiving!), and that 1 in 3 Jewish Americans puts up a Christmas tree!

So hurry up and get yourself ready for Christmas before it's too late, with the book critics called "a Christmas favorite to be read year after year."

And have a Merry October! :D

#SoonItWillBeChristmasDay