I Can't Believe It's Been 10 Years

 Ten years ago today my memoir, NORTH POLE HIGH: A REBEL WITHOUT A CLAUS was published. The book tells the TRUE inside story of Santa's 16-year-old daughter (me!). And the most amazing thing is, I'm still sixteen years old!

Now, before you go assuming that not aging is simply a benefit of being a fictional character like Lisa Simpson, I can assure you, I'm real. I'm as real as my father, who has delivered over a jillion toys all over the world in the ten years since I wrote NORTH POLE HIGH: A Rebel Without a Claus.

The thing is, as I explained in my book, NORTH POLE HIGH: A REBEL WITHOUT A CLAUS, which is still available at Popular Prices everywhere, all of us living here in the North Pole ages differently than those of you living outside the Circle. It has something to do with magnets and the rate of rotation of the earth up here at the top of the world and the route we take to school that takes us across the International Date Line every day. Plus most of our food is made with Magic. It's all very complicated and scientific. Einstein explained it all once to Chefy, but he didn't bother to write it down because he has flippers for hands.

Anyway, thank you to everyone who has read NORTH POLE HIGH: A REBEL WITHOUT A CLAUS over the last ten years. And to those of you who planned to read it one day but haven't gotten around to it yet: It's been TEN YEARS! What are you waiting for? YOU'RE not getting any younger!

PS: Merry Christmas!

Better to Give

Last weekend was the first day of Summer. You call it the longest day of the year, but here in the North Pole, the Sun stays out all day and all night for five months straight! Kinda makes it hard to see all the Christmas lights.

The Summer Solstice also fell on Father’s Day this year, which is always a troubling time for me. Giftgiving is one of the most important skills you can have in the North Pole. I love Presents class at N.P.H., but our teacher, Mr. Polar Bear, is pretty easy to please, as long as you gift him something that tastes like seal.

Then Father’s Day rolls around and I realize how high school has once again failed to prepare me for real life. I mean, what do you get the man who’s the best in the world at giving Presents?

Last year I knitted him a Christmas sweater that said, “World’s Greatest Dad.” Do you know how much yarn it takes to make a sweater for a guy his size? Let’s just say there were a lot of cold Alpacas last fall. And he never wore it once. My dad’s a little set in his ways, fashion-wise. When was the last time you saw him in anything but that red suit of his?

So I asked Chefy to help me make Daddy a jelly bean souffle, but he still hasn’t forgotten the last time he let me use his kitchen to make spaghetti and I didn’t put the lid on a pot and the bubble gum sauce got all over everything. Then I checked with one of Daddy’s top elves to see what new toys they were cooking up for next Christmas, but Daddy already gets one of everything they create.

Finally I had Tinsel help me chisel a beautiful Ice Sculpture of Daddy and I merrily wrapped it up and placed it under our Father’s Day tree by the fireplace. Well, you can probably guess what happened when he opened it. First he was drenched by the melted Present, then by my tears. I’d tried so hard to give him something special.

But Daddy just smiled and said, “Ho, ho, ho. ’Tis all good, Candycane. I’m much happier giving gifts than receiving them.” Then he proved it by giving me a gift: a great big hug!

“You’re the best dad in the whole wide world,” I told him. And he said that hearing that was the best Father’s Day present ever. My dad rocks!

Merry Half-Christmas, everyone!

Even Stoplights Blink a Bright Red and Green

Less than a month to go! Soon it will be Santa's big day! It's definitely beginning to look a lot like Christmastime in the city. When you finish your turkey tomorrow, you'll no longer have an excuse. Put up your tree, string up the lights, and SING!

I love this bouncy, snappy rendition of one of my favorite classic carols, Silver Bells, by Canadian singer Meaghan Smith, from her 2009 release, It Snowed. See how she makes the trees light up just by touching them? She might really be from the North Pole.

Merry Anniversary to Me

I can't believe it. 'Twas one year ago today the elves released my debut book....

A big candy-cane hug to everyone on the Nice List who enjoyed it last year. I hope you plan to make it part of an annual Yuletide tradition.

They say Christmas is coming earlier this year, but my dad assures me it's still going to be on December 25.

However, it is true that Hanukkah is coming ridiculously early this year (like, before Thanksgiving!), and that 1 in 3 Jewish Americans puts up a Christmas tree!

So hurry up and get yourself ready for Christmas before it's too late, with the book critics called "a Christmas favorite to be read year after year."

And have a Merry October! :D

#SoonItWillBeChristmasDay