Book Report: The Catcher in the Rye

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger is about a boy on the Naughty List who leaves his boarding school a few days before his Christmas break is supposed to start, not because he can't wait to see what goodies my dad will leave under his tree -- because, duh, he's on the Naughty List, remember? -- but because he's flunking out, hence his placement on the aforementioned Naughty List.

Instead of going home, Holden (that's the boy's name) wanders around New York City for a few days, I guess because he's so Naughty and all. And here's what I don't like about the book: It's Christmastime in New York, but you'd hardly even know it. I mean, at one point he goes to Central Park to give his sister Phoebe an early Christmas present, which was Nice of him and all, but he even says in the narration, "It didn't seem at all like Christmas was coming soon."

And I'm like, duh. You have to tell us about all the beautiful Christmas decorations Holden sees all the time and not just a little bit at the end, Mr. Salinger. That's the author, Jerry Salinger. He's dead. Daddy says Mr. Salinger was never on the Naughty List himself, but we still have all his Christmas presents here at the North Pole because Daddy could never find out where this guy lived. Anyway, I suppose if the he had allowed Hollywood to make a movie out of his book, we'd see the Christmas decorations everywhere and we'd all be calling it a Christmas movie like Die Hard or Gremlins or While You Were Sleeping and everyone would watch it every year at Christmastime. And then Holden would call us all a bunch of phonies, I bet.

So this Holden character takes this girl Sally Hayes ice skating outside Radio City Music Hall and she invites him to her house to trim her tree -- I think I know what she really means by that but I'm not allowed to say -- but there's not one mention of the ginormous Christmas tree they always have right there where they're skating. And I'm like, hello? This book makes me so mad sometimes!

Later the boy goes inside to see the wonderful Christmas Spectacular show without Sally, who ditched him, because, Naughty List, right? And he gives the show a worse review than Scrooge would have! I'm starting to understand why my father wanted this book banned from North Pole High.

I say, if you want to write a book that takes place during the most wonderful time of the year, then it should be filled with wonder and magic and Christmas trees. I'm not saying I'm a better writer than this J.D. Salinger guy was or anything, but my book, North Pole High: A Rebel Without a Claus, has never been accused of holding back on the Christmas joy. So if you're looking for a Christmas book that isn't afraid to mention Christmas (200 times), reindeer (26 times), and presents (45 times), and is available in both print and (unlike The Catcher in the Rye) Kindle editions, then you know where to look!

Is It A Christmas Movie? "While Yule Were Sleeping"

The following is an essay I wrote for my Christmas Lit class at North Pole High in the North Pole. My teacher, Mrs. Polar Bear, gave me an A+.

From 1995, While You Were Sleeping stars Sandra Bullock as Lucy, a lonely woman who falls in love with a man in a coma. This charming romantic comedy is set in Chicago, a great place to spend Christmas because they have lots of snow and they make their cocoa with Frango mints!

Before Lucy meets Coma Boy, she's struggling to get the Christmas tree she just bought into her apartment. It's so big, she has to hoist it up through her window on a rope. But it's so heavy, she drops it and it breaks the window of the apartment below her. Won't Coma Boy be lucky to get a girl who puts that much effort into Christmas!

Lucy's other problem is that besides her hunk being in a coma, she's never actually met him. But while he's asleep, she does meet his family. And since it's Christmastime, she gets to experience the warmth and joy of spending the holidays with a loving family, something she's missed since her parents died.

So now, instead of just having a crush on a hot dude in a coma, she's in love with the idea of becoming a part of his family. All because of Christmas. I don't want to spoil anything for you, but I think the message is that Christmas makes everything bright and wonderful. And for that, I hang five shining stars upon While You Were Sleeping!

Click here to watch While You Were Sleeping online.

Click here to buy While You Were Sleeping on DVD.

Click here to buy While You Were Sleeping on Blu-ray.

Christmas at the White House

So, a beautiful Christmas tree arrived at the White House this year promptly on the day after Thanksgiving.

I hope Bo and Sunny aren't thinking what I think they're thinking.

A week later, Mrs. Obama welcomed children from Santa's Really Nice List to see the decorations for her "favorite time of year" and have some delicious milk and cookies.

The following night, the president lit up the beautiful National Christmas Tree, then his wife led a spirited reading of one of the best poems ever written, "A Visit from St. Nicholas," by Clement Clarke Moore.

Does all this national merriment mean the War on Christmas is over? Only Grinchy O'Reilly can say for sure.

Important News: 9 Months from Now...

Lords-a-leaping, not THAT! Nine months from today it will be CHRISTMAS!!!

Merry 25th of March, everyone!

Here's some more great Christmas news to tide you over while you're waiting.
Earlier this year Universal started working on a CG-animated version the Grinch. This month, Sony began working on a super cool origin story of the SANTA CLAUS!!!

Tinseltown just can't get enough of jolly old St. Nick. Winter's Knight will show how my dad ruled the frozen pagan world of Asgard as the Norse god Odin, then started making toys in exchange for cookies. Don't expect it to be historically accurate. This Viking Santa Claus is based, in part, on The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus (which you can read for free on your Kindle) by L. Frank Baum, author of The Wizard of Oz.

Of course, if you want the TRUE origin story of Mr. Kringle, look no further than North Pole High: Beginnings, my prequel to North Pole High: A Rebel Without a Claus, which tells how my mom and dad met amidst a terrifying zombie elf apocalypse.

Now, to re-gift Stephen Colbert's "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger" concept, I tip my Santa cap to the Park Slope area of Brooklyn for keeping Christmas around well into March. Apparently their discarded Christmas trees haven't been picked up by the city's garbage collectors yet.

Unfortunately, I also have to put them on the Naughty List for throwing away their Christmas trees in the first place. Here in the North Pole, we keep our Christmas trees up year-round. Maybe if your halls were still decked in boughs of holly you wouldn't be in such a bah-humbug mood over this. #HoHoHo

Ready for a Spring Christmas treat? How about making very own, super yummy homemade marshmallows?

It's a fun weekend project and you can use them for Easter, s'mores, Rice Krispies Treats, and thousands of other things between now and next Christmas. Now that's hot chocolate!

Have a merry Spring and stay on the Nice List!

#HoHoHo

Candycane xoxo

Ten Months To Go...

Merry 25th of February. Just ten more months till CHRISTMAS!!!

The elves have been pretty busy keeping tabs on who's been Naughty and Nice this year. Bet you didn't know we started keeping track this early? Well, we do. And so far, we've found one very Naughty person who found a very Naughty (and extremely dangerous) way to get rid of his leftover Christmas candy. Santa does NOT approve!

And then there was this guy in Florida who tried to break into a house through the chimney.

Didn't go too well for him. Here's a little secret: Santa uses MAGIC to get down the chimney!

Not all the Christmas news this month was tragic. In England, some quick-thinking blackbirds nested and laid their eggs in a Christmas tree, forcing the town of Cramlington, Northumberland, to keep their Christmas Spirit going a little longer this year. :)

One of the coolest Christmas trees of the year is not still up...

...because it was made of 365 sleds that have been donated to children!

If you get bored waiting for Christmas to return, why not have some fun and make yourself sparkle?

 Here are some super festive makeup tips to looking Christmassy any time of the year!

I hope you all had a Merry February and enjoyed that other candy holiday. I know ten months sounds like when you're waiting for something as magical as Christmas, but it will be here soon. I promise.

In the mean time, I leave you with my favorite Christmas ad from last season...

#HoHoHo

Candycane <3

Pictures from My Visit to Hollywood

I was so lucky to find the time during the Season to get away from the Pole and visit Jenna Edwards to chat with her about my book on her UBN Radio show, Create Your Life with Jenna Edwards!

I got Jenna to wear reindeer antlers for the show...

...and she made me this beautiful Christmas Tree...

...inspired by the school Christmas tree project I worked on with Rudy in my book, North Pole High: A Rebel Without a Claus. And there are CANDY CANES on it! Find out how Jenna made this tree over at her blog, Create with Jenna!

And a very merry thank you to my "little helper," Mr. Dan, for appearing on the show with me (I was nervous--did it show?), publishing my book, and being a super reliable friend and my link to the lands between the Poles.

Now it's time to put on your jingle bells and have a MERRY CHRISTMAS!

The Meaning of Christmas Trees (excerpt)

“Rudy, a Christmas tree by itself is just a tree.”

I set down my colored pencils and imagined the biggest, brightest tree imaginable.

“Each soul who hangs a bauble from its bough, or threads a string of lights through its needles, or tops it with a shining star, is teaching it to sing its own unique song of joy. A Christmas tree, when it’s finished and all lit up, with lots of presents cuddled underneath, reflects the magic inside each person who trimmed it.”

I waited for a scoff while his unblinking gaze confronted me, urging me to go on, to enlighten him.

“The tree that you and I create together will expose our very hearts to the world. No one else will ever be able to duplicate that.” I leaned forward, tempted to reach for his hand. “Close your eyes, Rudy. Picture it.”

He folded his arms and did as I said.

“You have to really think. See it in your mind’s eye.” I waited again, giving him space for his tree to flourish. “Now tell me, what’s in your heart. What does Christmas mean to you?”

He was quiet. I held my breath, ready for something special, something magical, to bubble out of him. Goosebumps sprouted up and down my arms.

Then he spoke. “I see our grades. They’re threatening to jump off a tall building if they depend on me buying into all this ’Tis-the-season jazz.” He opened his eyes and grinned.

I knew he’d never take this seriously.

“You’re a poo-head! I’m not talking to you anymore.” I swiveled my chair, only pretending to be angry, when my eyes landed on the picture on his dresser. I went over and picked it up for a closer look. I half-waited for him to stop me, but he didn’t. The woman’s eyes were so much like Rudy’s, I had to ask, “Is this your mother?”

“Uh huh,” he answered quietly.

“She’s very pretty.”

“She was.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Cancer. When I was ten.”

Hearing Rudy’s mother was in heaven made me appreciate never having to worry about that, since my parents would live forever. But the sadness overwhelmed me. “What kind of Christmas tree would she want to see?”

“She’s in the ground.” His words took on a terseness that made me shudder. “She’s not watching us from anywhere and there are no such things as Christmas miracles.”

I’d obviously opened a door I shouldn’t have. Not knowing how to go back and close it, I quietly stood his mother’s picture back up on his dresser. “Maybe we should take that milk-and-cookies break now,” I said.

“I was kidding about the milk and cookies.” He got up and tucked his mother’s picture into a drawer. “Maybe we should call it a night.”

“If you say so.” I went back to the desk and carefully slipped my drawings into their portfolio. “Rudy?”

“What?”

“I don’t care what you think of me, or my friends, or my family, or my town. But what exactly do you have against Christmas?”

“It’s getting late. Why don’t we save this for later.”

My heart beat faster. I should have gotten out of there. I should have run. But I couldn’t let it go. “I think you’re here—you and your father—for a reason. One that you’re not even aware of.”

“Go home, Candy.”

I almost melted when I heard him say my name, so softly, so at odds with the way he said almost everything else. “At least tell me you’re not one of those people who doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.”

“I had dinner with him. Remember?”

We both smiled. He wasn’t a heretic.

Relieved, I started packing the rest of my stuff into my backpack.

“I just happen to think your father’s ideas are ridiculous,” he added.

Our game went into pause mode.

“What ideas? Spreading joy to the world?”

“What do you know about the world?” he snapped. “You live up here in a fantasy land, and once a year, your old man flies around the globe handing out toys—‘One for you, and one for you, and one for you.’—as if an electric train set could make up for all the wars and death and misery people suffer in the real world.” He hovered over me, his words so forceful. His hot breath hit me like a right hook with every disgruntled thought he threw at me. “I have news for you, princess. The world doesn’t work that way.”

He made me scared and confused and curious all at once. “What do electric trains have to do with suffering and death?”

He didn’t answer. Whatever he’d been ranting about, clearly he hadn’t meant to direct his anger at me. For in another five seconds, he was almost certain to make a pass.

If you want to find out what happened next, you'll have to read my book, North Pole High: A Rebel Without a Claus.

Merry Christmas!

Related content: See the tree Jenna Edwards made for me, inspired by this chapter!